Sometime around 2015 I became aware of something about myself.
This awareness came in sentence form;
as Words in my head which were true, and important.
The statement was this:
“You worship the God of your own creativity.”
I am creative. It is a quality that I cannot remove from my personality or nature. It is a skill and a gift that has been useful for me and for many. It has brought me, and others, great joy.
And, as the Words rightly observed, my appreciation of this skill / gift / value … was at risk of distorting into something more than just appreciation. It was starting to metastasize into something larger; disproportionate, desperate and/or self-satisfied. It was becoming much-too-much like worship.
I heard the warning. The message was not angry or threatening. It was a simple caution, delivered gently. And I listened. I watched myself, in the months and years that followed, for the boundaries of satisfaction about this particular value.
I course-corrected.
Oddly, sometime in 2021 or 2022, as the atmosphere of my life filled with suspicion, contempt and accusation, and the need for discernment became intense, I realized this issue was no longer an existential threat.
I had felt, before, that it WAS.
And now, it was not.
I had found a way to heed the warning and find a healthier path –
of accepting this gift,
and being grateful for it,
and taking delight from the use of it –
without the dimension of “worship.”
Life IS a process of course-correction.
Human beings will inevitably do some things well and also fail.
We overcome and also, sometimes, are defeated.
We thrive and also suffer at times.
In all these patterns, we … choose.
We choose how much to fixate on our own gifts, and whether we elevate them to a place of worship.
We choose whether to search for our own part in conflicts and collapsed relationships.
We choose which of our friends and family can provide us wisdom when we need it, and who cannot.
We choose how to protect ourselves from malice or contempt.
We choose when it is time to let go.
So many opportunities for distortion.
So many opportunities to make mistakes in who or what we worship.
So many opportunities for course-correction.
Every new day,
if you are willing to pay attention,
you may discover a new distortion or a new temptation,
that also provides a fresh invitation to you,
for course-correction.